LAUREN DUBIOS

Congratulations on the launch of your new book- I have already pre-ordered mine and cannot wait to get my hands on it!! What was your inspiration for writing this book and can you give us a little glimpse into what it’s all about?


I was approached to write a book from my beautiful publisher. I don’t think I would ever have had the guts to try and pitch a book all by myself out of fear of rejection!

The pitch was to write a book based on my blog posts, exposing all the little things no one tells you about parenthood. As I started writing, I realized I wanted to focus on mums and what mum life is actually like. I think there are plenty of books out there about kids and how to raise them, but there aren’t many books written about us. I felt like we needed a book that explains what it’s like when you have a baby and your whole world is turned upside down.

I wanted something I could hand to a pregnant woman, or a new mum, or an even a mum with older kids – that would let her know she’s not alone, she’s not going crazy, and that we all find parts of motherhood hard, draining, isolating and confusing.

So this book is about us! It focuses on the early years of motherhood, but it’s for mums at all stages because it’s about that transformation we all go through, from woman to mother. It’s a transformation that, at times, feels like it might just kill us, but ultimately we do survive it - and we come out the other side stronger and better than we were before.

I simply needed a creative outlet. As a journalist, I’ve always expressed myself with words and when I became a mum, I found I had more to talk about than ever before. I toyed with the idea of starting a blog even though it felt so clichéd. As soon as I started writing, people started reading and responding and I found it so therapeutic.

I think trying to explain to family and friends why I do it and how it should be considered a job and not a hobby. It’s not an office job and it might look like I’m just out there having a grand old time, amusing myself, but a lot of it is really hard, time-consuming work and it’s something I make money out of. Hopefully getting a book deal has convinced some of them that it’s a legitimate avenue to building a career, but I’m sure there are still some who think it’s a bit silly.

Do you have any advice for any young mothers out there who are thinking about sharing their own thoughts and experiences online?

• Don’t do it expecting to make money! Not straight away anyway. It’s not as easy as it looks and having that as your goal is a bad idea (and it’s pretty transparent).
• Be yourself. Trying to imitate or copy anyone else can’t be maintained long term. You want your kind of people to follow you and you’ll only find them by being yourself.
• Don’t get caught up in follower numbers. You can have thousands and thousands of followers but if they’re not engaging with what you’re putting out there, they’re worthless. You want quality followers who love what you do and engage with your content. Don’t ever buy followers! It’s just sad.
• Be aware that a lot of people don’t understand why anyone would share their family’s life online and they will criticise. Even if they’re not trying to be nasty, there’ll still be people who’ll question you and your choices. You have to be prepared for that. If you don’t think you can handle that, maybe think twice.
• Don’t treat it like a competition! A lot of women are super competitive with Instagram and get themselves really worked up over stats and whether someone else has more followers than them. I’ve seen it make some people sick. There is room for everyone and sometimes people will do better than you and that’s ok. Don’t let it drag you down, because it’s just not worth it.
• Have fun or don’t do it. Have an idea of why you’re doing it. Is it to chronicle your life like an online scrapbook? Is it to help other people? If you have a purpose, and you’re enjoying what you do, that’s all that matters.

 

I love how open you are with what goes on in your house and the less glamorous and real side of parenting. What made you like sharing such personal stories to your audience?

I’m just a bad liar! Hahaha... I simply can’t pretend my life is perfect because I’m too afraid of the mask slipping and people finding out my life is nothing like that at all. But honestly, I’ve never wanted to pretend. It doesn’t feel real or genuine to get a pat on the back for things that aren’t the truth. I’d much rather have a whole bunch of women pipe up and say, “oh my god, thanks for sharing that, I thought it was just me!” That feeling of support and camaraderie is ten times more fulfilling for me than being applauded for being good at stuff.

If the world was ending, your last meal on Earth would HAVE to be?

Some sort of carb. Cake, biscuit, hot chip... just carbs, straight-up.

During those rare “me time” moments, what is your number one go-to treat for yourself?

If I can grab a 20-minute block to have a cup of tea and watch something mindless on TV or scroll social media, I’m happy. My brain is never, ever quiet, so watching TV or a silly video online is the only break my brain ever gets from itself. It sounds so lame and boring, but it’s a little escape from my never-ending to-do list and it helps me feel recharged.

Congratulations on the announcement of your third pregnancy and the pending arrival of a new little member of your family! What are you most looking forward to with this little one?


I’m most looking forward to introducing her to her big brother and sister. They’re so excited! Introducing my first child to his little sister was the best moment of my life, and watching their sibling relationship blossom has been the greatest gift of motherhood. There’s nothing like it. So I can’t wait for this little one to join the gang and watch the three of them grow up together.

You wouldn’t worry so much about what other people think of you if you realized how seldom they do – Eleanor Roosevelt.

I’ve always loved this because you can get so caught up worrying what other people are thinking or saying about you - but in reality, they’re probably not thinking of you at all! People tend to spend most of their time worrying about themselves so you don’t need to stress that they’re spending their days thinking about you. And if they ARE devoting huge chunks of time to obsessing about you and what you’re doing, that’s their problem – and they should probably seek help for that, haha. You do you, be a kind person and stress less about what other people think, and you truly will be happier for it.